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Independence Day ~ 4th of July

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Monday, February 21, 2011

How to Really Love Your Adult Child ~ When Your Child Moves Home ~ Who's eating my chocolate? ~ They're back! Now what?

How to Really Love Your Adult Child

Building a Healthy Relationship in a Changing World


by

Authors Gary Chapman, PhD, and Ross Campbell, MD






How to Really Love Your Adult Child ~ When Your Child Moves Home ~ Who's eating my chocolate? ~ They're back! Now what?





When Your Child Moves Home
By Dr. Chapman



Who's eating my chocolate?
There is a T-Shirt that boasts, "It's not an empty nest until they get their stuff out of the attic." For you, that may not seem even remotely funny.You aren't thinking about emptying the attic, but about what you are going to do now that your adult child has moved back into your house. They are called the boomerang generation. They leave, but they come back.

Certainly you love them, but you had not anticipated this. It has thrown your life and perhaps your marriage into a tail spin. Most parents are greatly frustrated when their children move back home and one of the most common problems is that spouses often disagree over how to treat the boomerang child.

Some adults are simply not ready for the real world. They have tried and failed. Now, they may be more open to your wisdom than when they were teenagers. Therefore, you as the parent have another opportunity to parent and guide them toward successful living.

They're back! Now what? 
Call a family conference. Find out what your adult child is thinking. Do they have plans? Or, do they just want to 'hang out'? Hanging out may be okay for a week or two, but you and your child need plans on how to move toward some obtainable goal. Even a small goal is better than no goal

During this meeting, I suggest you discuss and agree on the following three items:
  1. Establish a time limit for their stay. Everyone will feel more relaxed if you have some idea of how long this return stay is going to last.
  2. Formulate a financial agreement. In the rare event that you child cannot make any financial contribution, then assign tasks such as cleaning, yard work, or repairs. They will feel better if they are making a contribution.
  3. Respect the need for privacy. This involves not only living space, but the use of phone, possessions, and noise level. Make life as pleasant as possible. Try to avoid becoming a war zone.
Communicating expectations is key to any relationship. If you want to guide your adult child towards success in life, then set these expectations in place and follow through with the agreements. This will teach your adult child to be responsible and accountable for their own actions and behavior. This is wise parenting.




The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.


There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives


Choose One:

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Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet

Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet
Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet ~ Last Supper. The Passover with the Disciples. Institution of the Lord’s Supper. Judas to Betray Jesus. Matthew 26, Mark 14, Luke 22 ESV. Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet. ....12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, "Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you....John 13:1-20 ESV.Christ Reasoning with Peter, by Giotto di Bondone (Cappella Scrovegni a Padova).

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011~ Relationships Love Language ~ Biblical Inspiration ~ The Inspirational