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Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Love Language ~ Anger Can Be Bad For Your Health ~ THE VISITOR ~ ADMIT IT ~ JUST THE FACTS ~ PROCESS

Anger
 Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way
Gary Chapman.


 Love Language ~ Anger Can Be Bad For Your Health ~ THE VISITOR ~ ADMIT IT ~ JUST THE FACTS ~ PROCESS



Anger Can Be Bad For Your Health
Gary Chapman 
When is the last time you felt angry? How did you handle your anger? Was it a pleasant experience for you? How about the people around you? All of us have seen people explode. Many of us have exploded. On the other hand, many people pride themselves in holding their anger inside. But internalized anger is bad for your health.

The biblical challenge is that when we experience anger, we are to process it in a positive way. That may mean gently confronting the person who stimulated our anger. Or, it may mean asking God to forgive us for being so 'bent out of shape' over such a minor matter. Learning to process anger in a timely and healthy way is one of the first lessons for healthy relationships.

THE VISITOR 
Why do people get angry? I believe we get angry when our sense of 'right' is violated. But we have two kinds of anger; definitive anger - when someone has wronged us; and distorted anger - when things didn't go our way. Much of our anger is distorted. The traffic moved too slowly. Our spouse didn't do what we wanted.

This distorted anger is still very intense and must be processed. Here's a question: Would it be helpful if I shared my anger with someone? In sharing it, might I improve things for everyone? Or, should I simply 'let it go'? Whatever you do, do something positive. Don't hold anger inside. Anger was meant to be a visitor, never a resident.

ADMIT IT 
When you are angry, the first positive step is to admit to yourself that you are angry.  Say it aloud, "I'm feeling angry." The second step is to ask God to help you handle your anger in a positive way. "Lord, help me to do what is right and good with my anger." The third step is to ask: Did someone sin against me? If so, the biblical answer is to lovingly confront the person and seek reconciliation.

On the other hand, if you are angry simply because something happened that irritates you, then ask: "What can I learn from this experience?" If the other person habitually arrives late for your appointment, perhaps you can talk with them and negotiate change. Thus, the anger has served a positive purpose. God wants to teach you how to handle your anger in a godly way.

JUST THE FACTS 
When you are angry - be sure to get the facts before you take action. You hear your spouse tell someone on the phone, "I'll be there tomorrow night." You know that tomorrow night is your date night, so you get angry. Before you storm in and say something harsh, take time to ask: "Did I hear you promise someone to do something tomorrow night?" Your spouse says, "Yes, I told mom I'd bring her blanket by. I thought we could do it either before or after we go out to eat."

Your anger subsides because you took time to "get the facts". Often we jump to conclusions about what someone said, or did, and in anger we accuse them. We mess up a perfectly good evening because we failed to ask questions.

PROCESS
In my book: Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way, I asked the publisher to print the following statement in the back of the book as a tear out. My suggestion is that you put it on the refrigerator so that when a family member feels angry at another family member, they can take the card, and read it aloud to the person at whom they are angry. Here's what the card says, "I'm feeling angry right now, but don't worry. I'm not going to attack you. But I do need your help. Is this a good time to talk?"

It brings a little humor into the tenseness and reminds you of what you are not going to do. It also is asking the other person to help you process your anger. It's an easy way to help family members learn to process anger in a positive way.





The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.


There are five love languages:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives

 
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Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet

Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet
Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet ~ Last Supper. The Passover with the Disciples. Institution of the Lord’s Supper. Judas to Betray Jesus. Matthew 26, Mark 14, Luke 22 ESV. Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet. ....12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, "Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you....John 13:1-20 ESV.Christ Reasoning with Peter, by Giotto di Bondone (Cappella Scrovegni a Padova).

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011~ Relationships Love Language ~ Biblical Inspiration ~ The Inspirational