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Monday, April 25, 2011

Love Language ~ Resolving Conflicts: Part 1 ~ What's so bad about arguing? ~ Why is it so important to resolve conflicts? ~ Why do people argue?



Love Language ~ Resolving Conflicts: Part 1 ~ What's so bad about arguing? ~ Why is it so important to resolve conflicts? ~ Why do people argue?



Resolving Conflicts: Part 1
Dr. Gary Chapman


What's so bad about arguing?
First, let me clarify what I mean by the word argue. It is a legal term. In a court of law attorneys make arguments designed to show the guilt or innocence of their client. They present the 'facts' with the attitude, "Any reasonable person would agree with my argument."

What works fairly well in the court room, works poorly in a marriage, because there is no judge available to determine when your spouse is 'out of order'. Arguments become charged with emotion and you end up yelling, screaming, or crying. Each feels the other is unreasonable. What's so bad about arguing? It turns spouses into enemies who have feelings of hurt, anger, and resentment.

Why is it so important to resolve conflicts?
Because unresolved conflicts stand as barriers to marital unity. Conflicts are those issues over which we have differences and we both feel that our side is right. If we don't find a 'meeting place' we become enemies instead of teammates. And, life becomes a battlefield. No one likes to fight. So, sooner or later someone gives up and walks away.

How sad that thousands of marriages end because couples never learn to resolve conflicts. The first step in resolving conflicts is to get out of the "arguing mode" and get into the "understanding mode". Stop trying to win an argument and start trying to understand each other.

Why do people argue?
In one word, rigidity. In essence we are saying, "My way is the right way, and if you don't do it my way, I'll make your life miserable." The arguer insists on getting his own way.

Conflict resolvers have a different attitude. They say, "I'm sure we can work this out in a way that will be positive for both of us. Let's think about it together." They look for a win-win resolution. They begin by respecting each other's ideas and looking for a solution instead of trying to win an argument.

The Scriptures say, "Love does not demand it's own way." Actually, love is looking out for the other person's interest. "What would be best for you?" is the question of love.







The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.


There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives
 
Choose One:

Link:
Live Stream Saturday Mornings


Building Relationships Radio
Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings
11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream


Five Love Language Feed


A Love Language Minute 


Link:

Primitive Baptists




Monday, April 11, 2011

Love Language ~ Accepting the Past and Changing the Future ~ You Can't Change Your History ~ An Everyday Opportunity


Love Language ~ Accepting the Past and Changing the Future ~ You Can't Change Your History ~ An Everyday Opportunity



Accepting the Past and Changing the Future
Dr. Gary Chapman


You Can't Change Your History 
The prophet Jeremiah asked: "Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard his spots?" (Jeremiah 13:23). The obvious answer is 'no'. Some things are unchangeable. Perhaps the most influential unchangeable factor in your life is your history. Your parents, good or bad, dead or alive, known or unknown, are your parents. That fact cannot be changed. Your childhood, pleasant or painful, is your childhood.

Our history is not to be changed, but accepted. We waste our time and energy when we ponder on what might have been. Admit your failures, accept the failures of others, and ask God to help you do something good with your future. No matter what has happened in the past, you can have good relationships in the future.

An Everyday Opportunity 
What kind of person have you become through the years? Has your spirit been negative or positive toward life? One wife said, "My husband is so negative that when he wakes up in the morning he either says, "Oh, no, I over slept!" or, "Oh, no, I woke up too early!" Thousands of people choose to live life with just that attitude. Something is always wrong with everything.

Would you like to change? You can! Repeat this scripture aloud every morning: "This is the day the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24. If you proclaim this truth to yourself, you will begin to see God's hand. And, your relationships will improve.




 

The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.


There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives

 
Choose One:

Link:
Live Stream Saturday Mornings


Building Relationships Radio
Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings
11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream


Five Love Language Feed


A Love Language Minute 


Link:

Primitive Baptists






Monday, April 4, 2011

Love Language ~ Two Extremes of Self-Esteem ~ Inferiority ~ Superiority



Love Language ~ Two Extremes of Self-Esteem ~ Inferiority ~ Superiority



Two Extremes of Self-Esteem
Dr. Gary Chapman


Inferiority
Most of us tend to either under-estimate or over-estimate our value. We perceive ourselves as either useless failures or as God's gift to the world. How you perceive yourself greatly affects your relationships. Inferiority often stems from childhood where parents told us that we were dumb, ugly, or clumsy.

How do we overcome feelings of being inferior? Speak truth to your heart. What is the truth? You are made in the image of God. You have a mind, emotions, and the ability to make decisions. You are gifted by God with special abilities. You have a unique role to play in his kingdom. No one else can take your place. Tell yourself the truth and behave accordingly. Then, watch your relationships flourish.

Superiority
Feelings of superiority often lead to broken relationships. It all began in childhood. Few rules were enforced. The child grew up feeling the world owed him a living. He became demanding and impatient with others. As an adult he is domineering and self-righteous. If there are problems in the relationship, he blames the other person.

The first step to recovery for the "I am superior" personality, is to admit that you are human. No one is perfect, so stop playing games. Step down from your pedestal and join the rest of us. You don't have to be perfect to be important. People will respect you more if you will admit your weaknesses. In fact, you will find that confession is the road to good relationships.





The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.


There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives
 

Choose One:

Link:
Live Stream Saturday Mornings

Building Relationships Radio
Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings
11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream


Five Love Language Feed



A Love Language Minute 


Link:

Primitive Baptists





Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet

Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet
Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet ~ Last Supper. The Passover with the Disciples. Institution of the Lord’s Supper. Judas to Betray Jesus. Matthew 26, Mark 14, Luke 22 ESV. Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet. ....12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, "Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you....John 13:1-20 ESV.Christ Reasoning with Peter, by Giotto di Bondone (Cappella Scrovegni a Padova).

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011~ Relationships Love Language ~ Biblical Inspiration ~ The Inspirational