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Independence Day ~ 4th of July

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Monday, April 25, 2011

Love Language ~ Resolving Conflicts: Part 1 ~ What's so bad about arguing? ~ Why is it so important to resolve conflicts? ~ Why do people argue?



Love Language ~ Resolving Conflicts: Part 1 ~ What's so bad about arguing? ~ Why is it so important to resolve conflicts? ~ Why do people argue?



Resolving Conflicts: Part 1
Dr. Gary Chapman


What's so bad about arguing?
First, let me clarify what I mean by the word argue. It is a legal term. In a court of law attorneys make arguments designed to show the guilt or innocence of their client. They present the 'facts' with the attitude, "Any reasonable person would agree with my argument."

What works fairly well in the court room, works poorly in a marriage, because there is no judge available to determine when your spouse is 'out of order'. Arguments become charged with emotion and you end up yelling, screaming, or crying. Each feels the other is unreasonable. What's so bad about arguing? It turns spouses into enemies who have feelings of hurt, anger, and resentment.

Why is it so important to resolve conflicts?
Because unresolved conflicts stand as barriers to marital unity. Conflicts are those issues over which we have differences and we both feel that our side is right. If we don't find a 'meeting place' we become enemies instead of teammates. And, life becomes a battlefield. No one likes to fight. So, sooner or later someone gives up and walks away.

How sad that thousands of marriages end because couples never learn to resolve conflicts. The first step in resolving conflicts is to get out of the "arguing mode" and get into the "understanding mode". Stop trying to win an argument and start trying to understand each other.

Why do people argue?
In one word, rigidity. In essence we are saying, "My way is the right way, and if you don't do it my way, I'll make your life miserable." The arguer insists on getting his own way.

Conflict resolvers have a different attitude. They say, "I'm sure we can work this out in a way that will be positive for both of us. Let's think about it together." They look for a win-win resolution. They begin by respecting each other's ideas and looking for a solution instead of trying to win an argument.

The Scriptures say, "Love does not demand it's own way." Actually, love is looking out for the other person's interest. "What would be best for you?" is the question of love.







The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.


There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives
 
Choose One:

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Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet

Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet
Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet ~ Last Supper. The Passover with the Disciples. Institution of the Lord’s Supper. Judas to Betray Jesus. Matthew 26, Mark 14, Luke 22 ESV. Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet. ....12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, "Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you....John 13:1-20 ESV.Christ Reasoning with Peter, by Giotto di Bondone (Cappella Scrovegni a Padova).

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011~ Relationships Love Language ~ Biblical Inspiration ~ The Inspirational