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Monday, June 20, 2011

Relationships Love Language ~ Making Sex a Mutual Joy ~ Not Taboo ~ The Truth About Sex ~ Sexual Baggage ~ Sexy Communication ~ Understanding Sex ~ Dr. Gary Chapman



Making Sex a Mutual Joy
  • Not Taboo
  • The Truth About Sex
  • Sexual Baggage
  • Sexy Communication
  • Understanding Sex



Making Sex a Mutual Joy
Dr. Gary Chapman

Not Taboo 
Contrary to the opinion of some, sex is not a topic that God finds taboo. In fact, sex was God's idea. He created us male and female and He instituted marriage with the intent that two would become 'one flesh'. Why then do so many couples fail to find satisfaction in this important area of marriage? I want to suggest one major reason: Unrealistic expectations.

Films, magazines, and novels convey the idea that sexual thrill and mutual satisfaction are automatic. That is simply not true. God told Israel that a young couple should  'take a year' and learn to pleasure each other. What makes us think that we can do so in less time?

The Truth About Sex
Some Christians have a negative attitude toward sex. It may have come from a distorted sex education, an unfortunate sexual experience as a child, or sexual involvement as a teenager that brought disappointment and guilt. The origin is relatively unimportant. The important thing is to understand that we choose our attitudes.

The first step in overcoming a negative attitude is exposure to the truth. The truth about sex is that within marriage it is God ordained and designed to bring mutual pleasure. As in all of life we are called to live by the truth. We admit our negative attitudes and feelings, but we don't serve them. With the help of God we live according to His revealed truth.

Sexual Baggage
One of the realities in contemporary society is that many couples come to marriage with previous sexual experience, either with each other, or with other partners. The commonly held idea is that sexual experience before marriage better prepares you for marriage. All of the research indicates otherwise. In fact, the divorce rate is twice as high among those who have been sexually active before marriage.

The Christian answer is the confession of wrongdoing and genuinely forgiving each other for past failures. The scars of the past may remain, but the scars serve as a reminder of the grace and love of God. When God forgives us, He no longer holds it against us. We in turn, forgive each other.

Sexy Communication
In a society that is saturated with sex, why do so many couples struggle in this area of  marriage? One of the reasons is that we fail to communicate. Your wife will never know your feelings, needs, and desires if you do not express them. Your husband will never know what pleases you if you do not communicate. I have never known a couple who gained sexual oneness without open communication about sexual matters.

Make a list of suggestions you would like to make to your spouse that would make this part of the marriage better for you. If you would like to read a list made by other husbands and wives see my book: The Marriage You've Always Wanted. Communication is the road to finding mutual sexual fulfillment in marriage.

Understanding Sex
What is the purpose of sex in marriage? What was God's design? I want to suggest three reasons clearly revealed in Scripture.
  1. First, and most obvious is procreation or reproduction. It was God's design to provide a safe haven in which to rear children.
  2. A second purpose is companionship. Sex is designed to be a bonding experience. The biblical term is: The two become 'one flesh'. It is deep deep companionship. I believe that is why it is reserved for marriage. It is our unique expression that we are 'one'.  
  3. A third purpose for sex in marriage is for pleasure. If you doubt this, read The Song of Solomon in the Bible. God's design was mutual sexual pleasure.








Relationships Love Language ~ Making Sex a Mutual Joy ~ Not Taboo ~ The Truth About Sex ~ Sexual Baggage ~ Sexy Communication ~ Understanding Sex ~ Dr. Gary Chapman



The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.

 

There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives
 

Choose One:

Link:
Live Stream Saturday Mornings


Building Relationships Radio
Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings
11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream






Five Love Language Feed


A Love Language Minute 


Link:

Primitive Baptists







Monday, June 13, 2011

Relationships Love Language ~ Preparing For Marriage: Part 2 ~ What I Know ~ Talk About Roles ~ Talk About Money ~ Talk About Sex ~ Talk About Faith





PREPARING FOR YOUR MARRIAGE



Preparing For Marriage: Part 2
  • What I know
  • Talk About Roles
  • Talk About Money
  • Talk About Sex
  • Talk About Faith



Preparing For Marriage: Part 2  
Dr. Gary Chapman


What I Know
One evening about six weeks after our wedding, Karolyn and I were engaged in a full-fledged argument. In the midst of the argument, she went to a closet, got her raincoat, slammed the front door and walked out into the pouring rain. My first thought was, "Why doesn't she stay and fight like a man?" My second thought was, "What have I done?"

I wish I'd known how to listen, how to respect her ideas and feelings, how to treat her with love, instead of demanding that she agree with me. There is so much I've learned in our 40 plus years of marriage.

Talk About Roles 
About six weeks after we got married, I said to Karolyn, "Honey, the toilet is getting dirty." To which she responded, "I know, I was wondering when you're going to clean it." "Me, I don't know how to clean toilets." "I can teach you," she said.

Have you thought about who will do what after you are married? Who will buy the groceries? Cook the meals? Mop the floors? Vacuum the carpets? Wash the dishes?  Mow the grass? And walk the dog? Deciding these matters before you get married will save you a lot of frustration after the wedding.

Talk About Money
Are you thinking about getting married? Do you have a plan for handling your money? Do you know how much debt your 'spouse to be' has accumulated? Do you know how much they have in savings. Once you get married, how much of your regular income do you plan to save? How much do you plan to give away? Who will balance the checkbook each month?

These are the kind of questions that should be answered before you get married. Money is a huge area of conflict among married couples. Much of this could be avoided if we talk honestly about how we will handle money after we get married.

Talk About Sex
I wish I'd known, before we got married, that mutual sexual fulfillment is not automatic. I had the idea, "I'm fully male. She is fully female. We have a high level of sexual attraction for each other. What more could we need?" Answer? A lot more! You would think that with all the explicit sex talk we find on TV and radio that sex would not be a problem in marriage.

In reality, sex becomes a battlefield for many couples. Information and communication are the keys to finding mutual sexual satisfaction in marriage. Sex was God's idea. You will not find the answer in Hollywood movies, or TV sitcoms.

Talk About Faith
When couples contemplate marriage, religion needs to be near the top of the list of matters that need to be discussed. Mankind is incurably religious. There are no cultures that have not developed a system of beliefs about the non-material world. These religious beliefs greatly influence the behavior of those who believe them.

Therefore, if you are thinking about getting married, I urge you to discuss your beliefs about spiritual matters. The Scriptures ask, "Can two walk together if they do not agree?" The answer is; "not very well."

In my book Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married, I try to help couples build a solid foundation upon which to build a successful marriage.







Relationships Love Language ~ Preparing For Marriage: Part 2 ~ What I Know ~ Talk About Roles ~ Talk About Money ~ Talk About Sex ~ Talk About Faith ~ Dr. Gary Chapman



The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.

 

There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives



Choose One:

Link:
Live Stream Saturday Mornings


Building Relationships Radio
Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings
11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream






Five Love Language Feed


A Love Language Minute 


Link:

Primitive Baptists





Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Relationships Love Language ~ Preparing For Marriage: Part 1 ~ Euphoric Feelings ~ Parental Patterns ~ Disagreements ~ Apologies





PREPARING FOR YOUR MARRIAGE


Preparing For Marriage: Part 1
  •  Euphoric Feelings
  • Parental Patterns
  • Disagreements
  • Apologies



Preparing For Marriage: Part 1
Dr. Gary Chapman


Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married is my attempt to help couples get ready for marriage. I looked back on my own life and asked, "What do I know now that I wish I had known then?" I think if someone had told me these things, my marriage would have been much easier. I hope you'll learn from my mistakes

Euphoric Feelings 
Would it surprise you if I told you that "being in-love is not an adequate foundation for marriage?" It is highly possible to 'fall in love' with someone you should not marry. Many couples believe that if they are 'in love' then they will always be 'in love'. The reality is that the 'in love euphoria' last for an average of two years.

That's why many couples stop dating after two years. They have lost the feelings so why keep dating. In fact, they may have much in common, and be very suited for each other, but because they believe that they must retain those 'in love' feelings they give up on the relationship.

Parental Patterns
Have you ever heard this saying, "Like Mother like daughter." and "Like Father like son?" There's some truth is both of those statements. We are greatly influenced by our moms and dads. If you are seriously dating someone, I encourage you to spend time with his or her parents. What you see in his dad is likely what you will see in him ten years from now.

Does that mean we are destined to be like our parents? No, but it does mean that if we want to be different, now is the time to work on it. Let's identify the strengths and weaknesses of our parents before we get married and then ask: What do I want to change? And, what steps can I take to make sure I don't duplicate the things I dislike?

Disagreements
One of the things I wish I'd known is how to solve disagreements without arguing. Karolyn and I had no plan for handling conflicts. So, we spent a lot of time arguing. Arguments always lead down hill. Conflicts are not a sign you have married the wrong person. They simply affirm that you are human.

The key to solving disagreements is to become an empathetic listener. Try to see the world through the other person's eyes. Respect their thoughts and feelings even if you don't agree. "I think I can understand what you are saying, and it makes a lot of sense." Now, you are not an enemy but a friend who understands. Now you can look for a solution that will be good for both of you.

Apologies
After spending a lifetime counseling other couples, I am convinced that there are no healthy marriages without apology and forgiveness. Apologizing is a sign of maturity. And, forgiveness is a godly response to a sincere apology.

However, what one person considers an apology is not what another person considers an apology. He says, "I'm Sorry," and she is thinking, "You certainly are. Is there anything else you would like to say?" He thinks he has apologized and she is waiting for him to apologize. I have discovered that there are five ways in which people apologize in this country. Learning the apology language of the other person can make it much easier for them to forgive you.




 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.

 
 
There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives
 

Choose One:

Link:
Live Stream Saturday Mornings


Building Relationships Radio
Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings
11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream






Five Love Language Feed


A Love Language Minute 


Link:

Primitive Baptists


 
 
 

Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet

Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet
Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet ~ Last Supper. The Passover with the Disciples. Institution of the Lord’s Supper. Judas to Betray Jesus. Matthew 26, Mark 14, Luke 22 ESV. Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet. ....12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, "Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you....John 13:1-20 ESV.Christ Reasoning with Peter, by Giotto di Bondone (Cappella Scrovegni a Padova).

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011~ Relationships Love Language ~ Biblical Inspiration ~ The Inspirational