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Monday, June 20, 2011

Relationships Love Language ~ Making Sex a Mutual Joy ~ Not Taboo ~ The Truth About Sex ~ Sexual Baggage ~ Sexy Communication ~ Understanding Sex ~ Dr. Gary Chapman



Making Sex a Mutual Joy
  • Not Taboo
  • The Truth About Sex
  • Sexual Baggage
  • Sexy Communication
  • Understanding Sex



Making Sex a Mutual Joy
Dr. Gary Chapman

Not Taboo 
Contrary to the opinion of some, sex is not a topic that God finds taboo. In fact, sex was God's idea. He created us male and female and He instituted marriage with the intent that two would become 'one flesh'. Why then do so many couples fail to find satisfaction in this important area of marriage? I want to suggest one major reason: Unrealistic expectations.

Films, magazines, and novels convey the idea that sexual thrill and mutual satisfaction are automatic. That is simply not true. God told Israel that a young couple should  'take a year' and learn to pleasure each other. What makes us think that we can do so in less time?

The Truth About Sex
Some Christians have a negative attitude toward sex. It may have come from a distorted sex education, an unfortunate sexual experience as a child, or sexual involvement as a teenager that brought disappointment and guilt. The origin is relatively unimportant. The important thing is to understand that we choose our attitudes.

The first step in overcoming a negative attitude is exposure to the truth. The truth about sex is that within marriage it is God ordained and designed to bring mutual pleasure. As in all of life we are called to live by the truth. We admit our negative attitudes and feelings, but we don't serve them. With the help of God we live according to His revealed truth.

Sexual Baggage
One of the realities in contemporary society is that many couples come to marriage with previous sexual experience, either with each other, or with other partners. The commonly held idea is that sexual experience before marriage better prepares you for marriage. All of the research indicates otherwise. In fact, the divorce rate is twice as high among those who have been sexually active before marriage.

The Christian answer is the confession of wrongdoing and genuinely forgiving each other for past failures. The scars of the past may remain, but the scars serve as a reminder of the grace and love of God. When God forgives us, He no longer holds it against us. We in turn, forgive each other.

Sexy Communication
In a society that is saturated with sex, why do so many couples struggle in this area of  marriage? One of the reasons is that we fail to communicate. Your wife will never know your feelings, needs, and desires if you do not express them. Your husband will never know what pleases you if you do not communicate. I have never known a couple who gained sexual oneness without open communication about sexual matters.

Make a list of suggestions you would like to make to your spouse that would make this part of the marriage better for you. If you would like to read a list made by other husbands and wives see my book: The Marriage You've Always Wanted. Communication is the road to finding mutual sexual fulfillment in marriage.

Understanding Sex
What is the purpose of sex in marriage? What was God's design? I want to suggest three reasons clearly revealed in Scripture.
  1. First, and most obvious is procreation or reproduction. It was God's design to provide a safe haven in which to rear children.
  2. A second purpose is companionship. Sex is designed to be a bonding experience. The biblical term is: The two become 'one flesh'. It is deep deep companionship. I believe that is why it is reserved for marriage. It is our unique expression that we are 'one'.  
  3. A third purpose for sex in marriage is for pleasure. If you doubt this, read The Song of Solomon in the Bible. God's design was mutual sexual pleasure.








Relationships Love Language ~ Making Sex a Mutual Joy ~ Not Taboo ~ The Truth About Sex ~ Sexual Baggage ~ Sexy Communication ~ Understanding Sex ~ Dr. Gary Chapman



The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.

 

There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives
 

Choose One:

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Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet

Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet
Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet ~ Last Supper. The Passover with the Disciples. Institution of the Lord’s Supper. Judas to Betray Jesus. Matthew 26, Mark 14, Luke 22 ESV. Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet. ....12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, "Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you....John 13:1-20 ESV.Christ Reasoning with Peter, by Giotto di Bondone (Cappella Scrovegni a Padova).

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