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Monday, September 26, 2011

Relationships Love Language ~ Revealing Yourself ~ Intimate Desires ~ Getting Intimate ~ Featured Resource ~ The Marriage You've Always Wanted ~ Dr. Gary Chapman

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Revealing Yourself
Dr. Gary Chapman
 
 
Intimacy comes from a Latin word meaning 'inner'. It is two people sharing the 'inner self'. Marriage is meant to be an intimate relationship-one in which a husband and wife reveal themselves to one another. Two of the things we share are 'thoughts' and 'emotions'. Emotions can't be seen, but they can be revealed. When I say to my wife, "I'm feeling disappointed," I have shared an emotion. If I tell her why, then I'm sharing my thoughts.

We make it easier for our spouse to share thoughts and emotions if we don't pounce on them with condemnation. If you say, "Well, that's nothing to be disappointed about. You shouldn't let that bother you," you have become a preacher not a loving spouse. When you say, "I can see how that would be disappointing, tell me more about it." You are encouraging intimacy.

Intimate Desires
We are creatures of desire. That is, we want certain things. Desires are usually expressed in terms of "I want..., I wish...I hope... or I would like... In an intimate marriage couples can share their desires without making demands. If my wife tells me that she would like a new dress for the party, then perhaps I can make it happen.

If she doesn't tell me, I have no way of knowing her desire. I don't mean that any of us can have everything we desire. But if we share, then we can discuss the possibilities - is it realistic or not? If so, then what steps need to be taken? Helping fulfill the desires of your spouse is one way of expressing your love. Love always wants what is best for the spouse.


Getting Intimate
The easiest level of self-revelation is sharing some of the experiences you have throughout the day. Every day we are constantly seeing, hearing, touching, tasting, and smelling our world. We call them the five senses.

Why not begin by sharing one item from each of the categories.  
  • One thing I saw today was...
  • One thing I heard ...
  • One thing I touched today was...
  • One thing I tasted ...
  • One pleasant smell I had today was...

This is communication 101. Try it, you'll like it. It just might lead you to greater intimacy in your marriage.





What's Your Love Language?


Relationships Love Language ~ Revealing Yourself  ~ Intimate Desires ~ Getting Intimate ~ Featured Resource ~ The Marriage You've Always Wanted ~ Dr. Gary Chapman



The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.


There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch
 
 
Choose One:

Link:
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Building Relationships Radio
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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Relationships Love Language ~ Marshmallows and Patience ~ A Better Way ~ Marshmallows ~ Featured Resource ~ The Marriage You've Always Wanted ~ Dr. Gary Chapman

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Marshmallows and Patience
Dr. Gary Chapman

In Western culture, we are not trained to be patient. We get irritated just waiting for the computer to boot up. We are also impatient with people who don't operate on our time table. Or waitresses who bring us the wrong order. And yet, patience is one of the traits of love. To be loving is to be patient. In a nutshell: patience is accepting the imperfections of others. 

A Better Way
When I become impatient, lose my temper, and spout condemning words to my wife, I have become an enemy, not a friend. So, she will likely fight the enemy or flee from the enemy. So, we have a royal argument that no one wins, and both of us walk away wounded, and try to avoid each other the next few days. All because I was impatient.
 
On the other hand, had I been patient, I would have asked questions in an effort to understand my wife's behavior. Once I understand what motivated her behavior, I'm more likely to have a reasoned response. I am now her friend and she responds positively to a friend. The whole atmosphere remains positive because I chose to be patient.

Patience begins by recognizing that people are not machines. They have thoughts, feelings, and they make decisions. Those decisions do not always please us, but we must give them the same freedom that God gives them. To condemn your son for not going to college will not have a positive effect on his life. Step back, and give him freedom to be human
.

Marshmallows
More than 40 years ago, Dr. Walter Mischel conducted an extensive long-term study at Stanford University that came to be known as the Marshmallow Test. The researcher put a marshmallow in front of a 4 year old child and said: "You can have one marshmallow right now, or you can wait 15 minutes while I do something else and then you can have two marshmallows.
 
About one third of the children waited and received the second marshmallow. Fourteen years later the same children were interviewed about their present lives. Those who waited had better self-esteem, higher SAT scores, and were considered more socially adept and trustworthy. Patience, is indeed a virtue. 




What's Your Love Language?


Relationships Love Language ~ Marshmallows and Patience ~ A Better Way ~ Marshmallows ~ Featured Resource ~ The Marriage You've Always Wanted ~ Dr. Gary Chapman


The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.





There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch


Choose One:

Link:
Live Stream Saturday Mornings

Building Relationships Radio
Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings
11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream









Five Love Language Feed
 
 
A Love Language Minute




Monday, September 12, 2011

Relationships Love Language ~ Making Marriage Sexy ~ Unrealistic Expectations ~ Sexy Communication ~ Featured Resource ~ The Marriage You've Always Wanted ~ Dr. Gary Chapman

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Making Marriage Sexy
Dr. Gary Chapman


Unrealistic Expectations
Contrary to the opinion of some, sex is not a topic that God finds taboo. In fact, sex was God's idea. He created us male and female and He instituted marriage with the intent that two would become 'one flesh'. Why then do so many couples fail to find satisfaction in this important area of marriage? I want to suggest one major reason: Unrealistic expectations.

Films, magazines, and novels convey the idea that sexual thrill and mutual satisfaction are automatic. That is simply not true. God told Israel that a young couple should 'take a year' and learn to pleasure each other.

What makes us think that we can do so in less time?

Sexy Communication
In a society that is saturated with sex, why do so many couples struggle in this area of marriage? One of the reasons is that we fail to communicate. Your wife will never know your feelings, needs, and desires if you do not express them. Your husband will never know what pleases you if you do not communicate. I have never known a couple who gained sexual oneness without open communication about sexual matters.
Make a list of suggestions that would make this part of the marriage better for you. Share the list with your spouse. If you would like to read a list made by other husbands and wives see my book: The Marriage You've Always Wanted.

Communication is the road to finding mutual sexual fulfillment in marriage and helps makes marriage sexy.





What's Your Love Language?

Relationships Love Language ~ Making Marriage Sexy ~ Unrealistic Expectations ~ Sexy Communication ~ Featured Resource ~ The Marriage You've Always Wanted ~ Dr. Gary Chapman


The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.
There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives
 
 
Choose One:
Link:
Live Stream Saturday Mornings

Building Relationships Radio
Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings
11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream






Five Love Language Feed
A Love Language Minute

Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet

Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet
Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet ~ Last Supper. The Passover with the Disciples. Institution of the Lord’s Supper. Judas to Betray Jesus. Matthew 26, Mark 14, Luke 22 ESV. Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet. ....12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, "Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you....John 13:1-20 ESV.Christ Reasoning with Peter, by Giotto di Bondone (Cappella Scrovegni a Padova).

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011~ Relationships Love Language ~ Biblical Inspiration ~ The Inspirational