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Relationships Love Language

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Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Happy New Year! ~ Relationships Love Language ~ Four Keys for Making Mr. Right: Part 2 ~ 3. Observe His Defense ~ 4. Love Him in His Language ~ Featured Resource A Marriage Carol

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012

NEW YEAR 2012 ~ Welcome to 2012! Have a blessed New Year

 

A King Is Born ~ Part Four ~ The King’s Worshipers ~ Wise Men follow the Star of Bethlehem ~ The Visit of the Wise Men

A King Is Born ~ The King’s Worshipers ~ Wise Men follow the Star of Bethlehem ~ The Visit of the Wise Men







Relationships Love Language



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Happy New Year! ~ Relationships Love Language ~
Four Keys for Making Mr. Right: Part 2 ~ 3. Observe His Defense ~ 4. Love Him in His Language ~ Featured Resource A Marriage Carol

 




Four Keys for Making Mr. Right: Part 2
Dr. Gary Chapman


This is the second part of a two part series. To view part one, please click here.

Wives can't change their husbands, but wives can and do have a tremendous influence on their husbands. How can you make that influence positive? Here are the second two of the four keys for making Mr. Right:

3. Observe His Defense.

A wife says, "Why does my husband get so defensive? All I have to do is mention that the grass needs mowing and he goes ballistic."

This husband is revealing his self-esteem hot spot. Defensiveness reveals the inner self. Some experience in his past has tied his sense of self worth to mowing the grass. Your mention of the grass translates "She thinks I'm not doing my job. I work like crazy, and now she is on my case about the grass." He sees it as a negative statement about his worth.

I know you didn't mean it that way. That's why I suggesting you observe his defensiveness, so that you can learn what is going on inside of him. We don't know these emotional hot spots until we touch one. It would be a good idea to make a list of all your husband's defensive reactions. Note what you said and did and how he responded. This insight will help you discover another way to discuss the topic that will be less threatening to his self-esteem.

Both husbands and wives hold a tremendous influence on their spouse. However, it is up to you whether your influence is positive.

4. Love Him in His Language.

If a wife wants to enhance her husband's ability to give her emotional love, perhaps her greatest influence will be in loving him. In my book, The 5 Love Languages, I talk about the importance of discovering your husband's primary love language - the thing that really makes him feel loved: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, physical touch, or acts of service. Once you discover it, pour it on. Husbands are drawn to wives who are meeting their emotional need for love.

Can you do it, even if he is not loving you. God did. He loved us when we were unlovely. But that's God. I'm me. I know, but you are God's child and He can empower you to love an unlovely spouse. I've seen it many times. A wife chooses to speak her husband's love language, even though she doesn't feel loved by him. He warms up and in time begins expressing her love language. Can emotional love be re-born in a marriage? You bet. But someone must begin the process. Why not you?





 












The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.






There are five love languages:


1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives



Choose One:










Link:

Live Stream Saturday Mornings
MBN Radio Live Stream


Building Relationships Radio

Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings
11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream







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Monday, December 19, 2011

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! ~ Relationships Love Language ~ Four Keys for Making Mr. Right: Part 1 ~ 1. Give Him Praise ~ 2. Make Requests






***

 'The Angels Song and The Shepherds Visit'

The Shepherds and the Angels

9And an angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were filled with fear. 10And the angel said to them, "Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. 11For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. 12And this will be a sign for you: you will find a baby wrapped in swaddling cloths and lying in a manger." 13And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying,
14 "Glory to God in the highest,
and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!"[c]
 
Luke 2.9-14 ESV.



***

Relationships Love Language



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Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! ~ Relationships Love Language ~ Four Keys for Making Mr. Right: Part 1 ~ 1. Give Him Praise ~ 2. Make Requests ~ Featured Resource A Marriage Carol




Dr. Gary Chapman    


Wives can't change their husbands, but wives can and do have a tremendous influence on their husbands. How can you make that influence positive? Here are the first two of four keys to making Mr. Right:
  1. Give Him Praise.

    Men respond positively to praise. One of the most common complaints men make in my office is: "Dr. Chapman, in my work I am respected. People come to me for advice. But at home, all I get is criticism." What she considers suggestions, he reads as criticism. Her efforts to stimulate growth have backfired.

    Give him praise. The fastest way to influence a husband is to give him praise. Praise him for effort, not perfection. You may be asking, but if I praise him for mediocrity, will it not stifle growth? The answer is a resounding "No." Your praise urges him on to greater accomplishments.

    My challenge is to look for things your husband is doing right and praise him. Praise him in private, praise him in front of the children, praise him in front of your parents and his parents, praise him in front of his peers. Then stand back and watch him go for the gold.

  2. Make Requests.

    None of us like to be controlled, and demands are efforts at controlling. "If you don't mow the grass this afternoon, then I'm going to mow it." I wouldn't make that demand unless you want to be the permanent lawn mower. It is far more effective to say, "Do you know what would really make me happy?" Wait until he asks, "What?" Then say, "If you could find time this afternoon to mow the grass. You always do such a great job."

    Let me illustrate by applying the principle to you. How do you feel when your husband says "I haven't had an apple pie since the baby was born. I don't guess I'm going to get any more apple pies for eighteen years"? Now, doesn't that motivate you? But what if he says, "You know what I'd really like to have? One of your apple pies. You make the best apple pies in the world. Sometime when you get a chance, I'd really love one of your apple pies. Chances are he'll have an apple pie before the week is over. Requests are more productive than demands.
Next Week - Four Keys to Making Mr. Right: Part 2











The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.



There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives


Choose One:








Link:

Live Stream Saturday Mornings
MBN Radio Live Stream


Building Relationships Radio
Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings
11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream







Five Love Language Feed
RSS
Most Recent Program
Listen Now
Download Podcast
Upcoming Programs
Past Programs










A Love Language Minute

Archives




Links
:
Google Sites: Primitive Baptists
Blogger BlogSpot: Primitive Baptists



Thursday, December 15, 2011

Relationships Love Language ~ Marriage Myth Busters ~ Myth #1 ~ #4 ~ Featured Resource A Marriage Carol

Merry-Christmas-christmas-Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

 

 

Relationships Love Language




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Relationships Love Language ~ Marriage Myth Busters ~ Myth #1 ~ #4 ~ Featured Resource A Marriage Carol

 




Marriage Myth Busters
Dr. Gary Chapman


Unfortunately, many people in desperate marriages base their lives upon commonly held myths. This week I want to expose some of these myths and challenge you to take constructive action in your marriage.

Myth #1
The first myth is the idea that my state of mind and the quality of my marriage is determined by my environment. "I grew up in a dysfunctional family, so I am destined to failure in my relationships." This kind of approach leaves one helpless.

Our environment certainly affects us, but it does not control us.You can keep a positive spirit even in a bad marriage, which will affect your emotions and your actions. God can give peace of mind even in the worst of situations.

Myth #2
You've probably heard this one: "People cannot change." This myth fails to realize the reality of human freedom and the power of God. History is filled with accounts of people who have made radical changes in their behavior. From St. Augustine, who once lived for pleasure and thought his desires were inescapable, to Charles Colson, the Watergate criminal who repented and began an international agency to offer prisoners spiritual help, the record is clear: People can and do change, and often the changes are dramatic!

Don't give up on yourself or your spouse. God is in the business of changing lives. Begin with prayer, and believe that God can and will change you and your spouse.

Myth #3
"When you are in a bad marriage, there are only two options: be miserable for life, or get out." This myth limits one's horizons to two equally devastating alternatives.

But there is always something you can do to improve a marriage. You can be a positive change agent in your marriage. Being miserable or getting out are not your only options, and there are loving solutions even in desperate marriages.

Myth #4
"Some situations are hopeless." Have you said those words? Have you believed them? The person who believes this myth usually also concludes, "My situation is hopeless. Perhaps there is hope for others, but my marriage is hopeless. It has gone on too long; the hurt is too deep." This kind of thinking leads to depression and sometimes suicide.

God is the God of hope. When you put your hand in His hand, He will lead you through the valley of despair into the plane of hope. With God no one and no situation is hopeless. Focus your eyes on Him rather than your situation.

 

 



 

 

The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.




There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch


Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives



Choose One:





Link:

Live Stream Saturday Mornings

MBN Radio Live Stream


Building Relationships Radio

Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings

11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream







Five Love Language Feed

RSS


Most Recent Program

Listen Now

Download Podcast

Upcoming Programs

Past Programs




 



A Love Language Minute

Archives



Links
:

Google Sites: Primitive Baptists
Blogger BlogSpot: Primitive Baptists




Saturday, December 3, 2011

Relationships Love Language ~ Featured Resource A Marriage Carol ~ A Wreath Observed ~ GUEST POST BY Chris Fabry

A Marriage Carol by Dr. Gary Chapman & Chris Fabry

 

 








 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Marriage Carol

by Dr. Gary Chapman & Chris Fabry

 

 

 

What's Your Love Language?

Relationships Love Language ~ Featured Resource A Marriage Carol ~ A Wreath Observed ~ GUEST POST BY Chris Fabry

 

 

 

A Wreath Observed

 

What's the best Christmas present you can give your kids this year? An iPad? An e-reader?

The other day in the car, Colin asked if we could get a bigger Christmas tree. The one we chose is puny, evidently. I think he wants more room for presents.

That caused me to think about what I really want to give them. I love giving toys, trinkets, gadgets, and giz. I love giving books and gift cards and musical instruments. I love the feeling of watching them open a present and seeing the recognition on their faces that someone knows them, sees inside their souls well enough to get that DVD or pair of woolen socks.

But the truth is, the greatest gift I can give my children can't be placed under a tree, no matter how big it is. The greatest gift I can give my family is a commitment to my marriage and the fortitude to work on that relationship no matter what.

On the cover of the book, A Marriage Carol, there is a Christmas wreath. And below that, the door knocker is in the shape of an engagement ring. These circles represent something that will last, something that has no end. The contents of the book, we hope, will encourage couples to continue the struggle, continue to fight for their marriage even if things seem bleak.

If your relationship is frosty, cold, or almost dead, all the trinkets, toys, and gadgets in the world will not make your kids happy. Their real happiness comes in the security they feel with two parents who are committed enough to each other not to quit, but to humble themselves and go to work.

If you're married, give the gift that will keep giving to your children, your friends, everyone around you, and also yourself. Give the gift of commitment.

No wrapping paper or bow needed.

 

GUEST POST BY: Chris Fabry

CHRIS FABRY is a graduate of W. Page Pitt School of Journalism at Marshall University and Moody Bible Institute's Advanced Studies Program. Chris can be heard daily on Love Worth Finding, featuring the teaching of the late Dr. Adrian Rogers. He received the 2008 "Talk Personality of the Year" Award from the National Religious Broadcasters. He has published more than 60 books since 1995, many of them fiction for younger readers. Chris collaborated with Jerry B. Jenkins and Dr. Tim LaHaye on the children's series Left Behind: The Kids. His two novels for adults, Dogwood and June Bug, are published by Tyndale House Publishers. Chris is married to his wife Andrea and they have five daughters and four sons.

You can find out more about Chris at his website.

 

 

What's Your Love Language?

 

 

The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.

 

There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch


Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives

 

Choose One:




 

 

 

Link:

Live Stream Saturday Mornings

MBN Radio Live Stream

 

Building Relationships Radio

Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings

11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream

 

 

Five Love Language Feed

RSS

 

Most Recent Program

Listen Now

Download Podcast

Upcoming Programs

Past Programs

 

 

 




A Love Language Minute

Archives

 

Links:

Google Sites: Primitive Baptists
Blogger BlogSpot: Primitive Baptists




Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet

Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet
Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet ~ Last Supper. The Passover with the Disciples. Institution of the Lord’s Supper. Judas to Betray Jesus. Matthew 26, Mark 14, Luke 22 ESV. Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet. ....12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, "Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you....John 13:1-20 ESV.Christ Reasoning with Peter, by Giotto di Bondone (Cappella Scrovegni a Padova).

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011~ Relationships Love Language ~ Biblical Inspiration ~ The Inspirational