GOD BLESS FATHERS ~ HONOR OUR FATHERS. ~ HAPPY FATHER'S DAY ~ Sunday, June 17, 2012
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY! Father's Day Proverbs 3.5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV.
A Father’s Instruction
Proverbs 4:1-27 ESV click
Relationships Love Language ~ She won't speak my love language! ~ Image: GOD BLESS FATHERS ~ HONOR OUR FATHERS. ~ HAPPY FATHER'S DAY ~ Sunday, June 17, 2012
She won't speak my love language!
Dr. Gary Chapman
What do you do when a spouse refuses to speak your love language even when they know it?
"We both read The 5 Love Languages, took the profile, and discussed our primary love languages with each other. That was two months ago. My wife knows that my love language is Words of Affirmation. Yet, in two months, I have yet to hear her say anything positive. Her love language is Acts of Service. I have started doing several things she has asked me to do around the house. I think she appreciates what I am doing, but she never tells me."
Let me begin by saying that we cannot make our spouse speak our love language. Love is a choice. We can request love, but we cannot demand love. Having said that, let me suggest some reasons why your wife may not be speaking your love language. She may have grown up in a home where she received few positive words. Her parents were perhaps very critical of her. Thus, she did not have a positive role model of speaking Words of Affirmation. Such words may be very difficult for her to speak. It will require effort on her part and patience on your part as she learns to speak a language that is foreign to her.
A second reason that she may not be speaking your love language is she fears that if she gives you Words of Affirmation for the few changes you have made, you will become complacent, and you will not go on to make the major changes that she is hoping for. It is the mistaken idea that if I reward mediocrity, I will curtail the person's aspirations to be better. That is a commonly held myth that keeps parents from verbally affirming children. Of course, it is untrue. If a person's primary love language is Words of Affirmation, those words challenge the person to greater levels of accomplishment.
My suggestion is that you initiate the love tank game discussed in the book. You ask her, "On a scale of zero to ten, how full is your love tank?" If she answers anything less than ten, you ask, "What could I do to help fill it?" Whatever she says, you do it to the best of your ability. If you do this once a week for a month, chances are she will start asking you how full your love tank is. And you can begin making requests of her. This is a fun way of teaching her how to speak your love language.
Featured Resource: 101 Conversation Starters for Couples
The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.
There are five love languages:
1. Words of Affirmation
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch
Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives
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