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Relationships Love Language

Independence Day ~ 4th of July

Independence Day ~ 4th of July
Thursday, July 04, 2013 ~ Independence Day ~ Happy 4th of July

Love Language

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The Inspirational

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Monday, July 30, 2012

Relationships Love Language ~ Balancing Work and Family ~ Money, Family, or Both? ~ The Key is Balance ~ Integration and Time Management ~ Featured Resource: 101 Conversation Starters for Families ~ Images: Work and Family

Balancing Work and Family ~ Money, Family, or Both ~ The Key is Balance ~ Integration and Time Management

Balancing Work and Family ~ Money, Family, or Both ~ The Key is Balance ~ Integration and Time Management


Work and Family

Work and Family



Relationships Love Language ~ Balancing Work and Family ~ Money, Family, or Both? ~ The Key is Balance ~ Integration and Time Management ~ Featured Resource: 101 Conversation Starters for Families




Balancing Work and Family

Dr. Gary Chapman



gary_chapman_smrMoney, Family, or Both?

Is it possible that we may be working so hard to support our families financially that we end up losing our families? Then money becomes empty compensation. This week we'll talk about the issue of money and marriage.
What is most important in life? If we are given stark choices, the issue becomes clear. If someone offered you one million dollars for your child or your spouse, would you take it? Any sensible parent or spouse would say, "No". But do we not sell our families for much less when we spend all of our energy working for money and have no time left to enjoy our relationships?

The Key is Balance

Work is a noble endeavor. In fact the Bible says that if a man will not work, neither should he eat. But can we work too much? Is vocational success worth losing a marriage? The Scriptures teach that life's meaning is not found in things, but in relationships. It is found first in a relationship with God, and then with family and others.

Family relationships are always in process. If we want to keep our marriages alive, our families healthy, then we must find ways of balancing work and family. Thousands of men and women are finding that a growing marriage and a healthy family requires readjusting schedules from time to time. The key question is, "How does my work affect my marriage and family?" Once I answer that question, I will know if I need to change my work patterns.

Integration & Time Management

The answer is not always less work. Sometimes it is integrating the family into my work. For example, does your work allow the opportunity for you and your spouse to have lunch together from time to time? Such lunches can be an oasis in the midst of a dry day.

If your work requires travel, could you take your spouse or one of your children with you? This allows a mini-vacation which you might not otherwise be able to afford. It also exposes your family to your vocation and gives them a little more appreciation for what you do.

Less work and more time at home is not necessarily the answer. Better use of time at home may make all the difference. Do something different tonight with your spouse or with a child. Get out of the routine. Minimize the television and maximize activity and conversation. Keep your marriage alive and growing.

Featured Resource: 101 Conversation Starters for Families by Dr. Gary Chapman

101 Conversation Starters for Families

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The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.

There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives


Choose One:






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Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Relationships Love Language ~ Before the Engagement ~ Possible Proposal? Six questions you should ask before popping the question. ~ Featured Resource: Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married

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Relationships Love Language ~ Before the Engagement ~ Possible Proposal? Six questions you should ask before popping the question. ~ Featured Resource: Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married

 

Before the Engagement

Possible Proposal? Here are six questions you should ask before popping the question.

  1. Are my partner and I on the same wavelength intellectually? Try one of these exercises: Read a newspaper or online news article and discuss its merits and implications; read a book and share your impressions with each other.

     2.   To what degree have we surveyed the foundation of our social unity? Explore the following areas: sports, music, dance, parties, and vocational aspirations.

     3.   Do we have a clear understanding of each other's personality, strengths, and weaknesses? Take a personality profile. This is normally done under the direction of a counselor who will interpret the information and help you discover potential areas of personality conflicts.

     4.   To what degree have we excavated our spiritual foundations? What are your beliefs about God, Scripture, organized religion, values, and morals?

      5.  Are we being truthful with each other about our sexual histories? Are you far enough along in the relationship to feel comfortable talking about this? To what degree are you discussing your opinions about sexuality?

      6.   Have we discovered and are we speaking each others primary love language? It is in the context of a full love tank that we are most capable of honestly exploring the foundations of our relationship.

 

Featured Resource: Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married Dr. Gary Chapman

 

 

Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married

 

 

Synopsis

What's Your Love Language?Gary Chapman writes, "Most people spend far more time in preparation for their vocation than they do in preparation for marriage." No wonder the divorce rate hovers around fifty percent. Bestselling author and marriage counselor Gary Chapman hopes to change that with his newest book. Gary, with more than 35 years of counseling couples, believes that divorce is the lack of preparation for marriage and the failure to learn the skills of working together as intimate teammates. So he put together this practical little book, packed with wisdom and tips that will help many develop the loving, supportive and mutually beneficial marriage men and women long for. It's the type of information Gary himself wished he had before he got married. This is not a book simply to be read. It is a book to be experienced. The material lends itself to heart-felt discussions by dating or engaged couples. To jump-start the exchanges, each short chapter includes insightful "Talking it Over" questions and suggestions. And, the book includes information on interactive websites as well as books that will enhance the couples experience.

Dr. Chapman even includes a thought-provoking appendix. By understanding and balancing the five key aspects of life, dating couples can experience a healthy dating relationship. A revealing learning exercise for dating couples is included at the end.

 

 

PrintThings I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married

“Most people spend far more time in preparation for their vocation than they do in preparation for marriage,” Dr. Gary Chapman

 

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Chapter 1

It should have been obvious, but I missed it. I had never read a book on marriage so my mind was not cluttered with reality. I just knew that I had feelings for Karolyn that I had never felt with any other girl. When we kissed, it was like a trip to heaven. When I saw her after an extended absence, I actually felt chill bumps. I liked everything about her. I liked the way she looked, the way she talked, the way she walked, and I was especially captivated by her brown eyes. I even liked her mother and volunteered to paint her house—anything to let this girl know how much I loved her. I could not imagine any other girl being more wonderful than she. I think she had the same thoughts and feelings about me.

With all of these thoughts and feelings, we fully intended to make each other happy the rest of our lives. Yet, within six months after marriage, we were both more miserable than we had ever imagined. The euphoric feelings were gone, and instead, we felt hurt, anger, disappointment, and resentment. This, we never anticipated when we were “in love.” We thought that the positive perceptions and feelings we had for each other would be with us for a lifetime.

Over the past thirty years, I have done premarital counseling sessions with hundreds of couples. I have found that most of them have the same limited perspective about being in love. I have often asked couples in our first session this question: “Why do you want to get married?” Whatever else they say, they always give me the big reason. And the big reason is almost always the same: “Because we love each other.” Then I ask a very unfair question: “What do you mean by that?” Typically they are stunned by the question. Most say something about a deep feeling that they have for each other. It has persisted for some time and is in some way different from what they have felt for other dating partners. Often they look at each other, they look at the ceiling, they giggle, and then one of them says, “Well, ahh . . . oh, you know.” At this stage of my life, I think I do know—but I doubt that they know. I fear that they have the same perception of being in love that Karolyn and I had when we got married. And I know now that being in love is not a sufficient foundation on which to build a successful marriage.

Some time ago I had a call from a young man who asked if I would perform his wedding ceremony. I inquired as to when he wanted to get married and found that the wedding date was less than a week away. I explained that I usually have from six to eight counseling sessions with those who desire to be married. His response was classic: “Well, to be honest with you, I don’t think we need any counseling. We really love each other and I don’t think we will have any problems.” I smiled and then wept inwardly—another victim of the “in love” illusion.

We often speak of “falling in love.” When I hear this phrase, I am reminded of the jungle animal hunt. A hole is dug in the midst of the animal’s path to the water hole, then camouflaged with branches and leaves. The poor animal runs along, minding his own business. Then all of a sudden it falls into the pit and is trapped.

This is the manner in which we speak of love. We are walking along doing our normal duties when all of a sudden, we look across the room or down the hall, and there she/he is—wham-o, “we fall in love.” There is nothing we can do about it. It is completely beyond our control. We know we are destined for marriage; the sooner the better. So, we tell our friends and because they operate on the same principle, they agree that if we are really in love, then it is time for marriage.

Often we fail to consider the fact that our social, spiritual, and intellectual interests are miles apart. Our value systems and goals are contradictory, but we are in love. The great tragedy stemming from this perception of love is that a year after the marriage, a couple sits in the counselor’s office and say, “We don’t love each other anymore.” Therefore, they are ready to separate. After all, if “love” is gone, then “surely you don’t expect us to stay together.”

When “the Tingles” Strike

I have a different word for the above-described emotional experience. I call it “the tingles.” We get warm, bubbly, tingly feelings for a member of the opposite sex. It is the tingles that motivate us to go out for a hamburger with him/her. Sometimes we lose the tingles on the first date. We find out something about them that simply shuts our emotions down. The next time they invite us for a hamburger, we are not hungry. However, in other relationships, the more we are together, the tinglier the feeling. Before long, we find ourselves thinking about them day and night. Our thoughts are obsessive in nature. We see them as the most wonderful, exciting person we have ever known. We want to be together every possible moment. We dream of sharing the rest of our lives making each other happy.

Please do not misunderstand me. I think the tingles are important. They are real, and I am in favor of their survival. But they are not the basis for a satisfactory marriage. I am not suggesting that one should marry without the tingles. Those warm, excited feelings, the chill bumps, that sense of acceptance, the excitement of the touch that make up the tingles serve as the cherry on top of the sundae. But you cannot have a sundae with only the cherry. The many other factors that we discuss in this book must be a vital consideration in making a decision about marriage.

Being in love is an emotional and obsessive experience. However, emotions change and obsessions fade. Research indicates that the average life span of the “in love” obsession is two years. For some it may last a bit longer; for some, a bit less. But the average is two years. Then we come down off the emotional high and those aspects of life that we disregarded in our euphoria begin to become important. Our differences begin to emerge and we often find ourselves arguing with the person whom we once thought to be perfect. We have now discovered for ourselves that being in love is not the foundation for a happy marriage.

For those of you who are currently in a dating relationship and are perhaps contemplating marriage, I would encourage you to read the Appendix of this book, located on page 149. I believe that the primary purpose of dating is to get to know each other and to examine the intellectual, emotional, social, spiritual, and physical foundations for marriage. Only then are you able to make a wise decision—to marry or not to marry. The questions contained in the learning exercises in the Appendix will assist you in discussing these foundations.

 

 


The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.

There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives


Choose One:



 

 

 


Link:

Live Stream Saturday Mornings
MBN Radio Live Stream

Building Relationships Radio
Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings
11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream



Five Love Language Feed

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A Love Language Minute


Links
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primitivebaptists@gmail.com

Monday, July 16, 2012

Relationships Love Language ~ Why the Love Languages Matter ~ ‘’The rebirth of emotional love creates a positive emotional climate between the two of them and…’’ Image: ''The Rebirth of Emotional Love!'' Love Rose

''The Rebirth of Emotional Love!'' Love Rose

Love Rose

''The Rebirth of Emotional Love!''

 




Relationships Love Language ~ Why the Love Languages Matter ~ ‘’The rebirth of emotional love creates a positive emotional climate between the two of them and…’’  Image: ''The Rebirth of Emotional Love!'' Love Rose





Why the Love Languages Matter

Dr. Gary Chapman

 

I believe that our deepest emotional need is the need to feel loved. If we are married, the person we would most like to love us is our spouse. If we feel loved by our spouse, the whole world is bright and life is wonderful. On the other hand, if we feel rejected or ignored, the world begins to look dark.

Most couples get married when they still have the euphoric feelings of being in love. When the euphoric feelings evaporate some time after the wedding and their differences begin to emerge, they often find themselves in conflict. With no positive plan for resolving conflicts, they often find themselves speaking harshly to each other. Harsh words create feelings of hurt, disappointment, and anger. Not only do they feel unloved, but they also begin to resent each other.

When couples read The 5 Love Languages, they discover why they lost the romantic feelings of courtship and how emotional love can be rekindled in their relationship. Once they begin speaking each other's primary love language, they are surprised to see how quickly their emotions turn positive. With a full love tank, they can now process their conflicts in a much more positive manner and find solutions that are workable.

The rebirth of emotional love creates a positive emotional climate between the two of them and they learn to work together as a team-encouraging, supporting, and helping each other reach meaningful goals. Once this happens, they want to share the message of the five love languages with all of their friends.

Every year since its first publication in 1992, the book has sold more than it did the year before. I believe the success of The 5 Love Languages can be simply attributed to the couples who have read it, learned to speak each other's language, and recommended it to their friends

Do you know your love language?

 



The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.


 

There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives


Choose One:



 

 

 

 

Link:

Live Stream Saturday Mornings
MBN Radio Live Stream

Building Relationships Radio
Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings
11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream



Five Love Language Feed

RSS

Most Recent Program
Listen Now
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A Love Language Minute


Links
:
Google Sites: Primitive Baptists
Blogger BlogSpot: Primitive Baptists

primitivebaptists@gmail.com

Monday, July 9, 2012

Relationships Love Language ~ Making My Decisions Our Decisions ~ ‘’…If all of this seems costly to your independence, you are correct…’’ ~ Image: Making My Decisions Our Decisions

Making My Decisions Our Decisions

 

Making My Decisions Our Decisions

 





Relationships Love Language ~ Making My Decisions Our Decisions ~ ‘’…If all of this seems costly to your independence, you are correct…’’ ~ Image: Making My Decisions Our Decisions

 

 

 

Making My Decisions Our Decisions

Dr. Gary Chapman

 

The Question

I recently got married, but have been on my own for many years. How do we build a life together? How do I submit to my spouse's decisions after making my own decisions for so long?

The Answer

In this question, you have hit upon one of the big differences between being married and being single. As a single, you do what you want to do when you want to do it. As a married, that is impossible. Why? Because "two have become one". It is no longer "your business" and "my business", but rather "our business." Now you must consider how your actions will affect your spouse. Now you are ready to learn what the Biblical concept of love is all about. Love is looking out for the other person's interest.

This doesn't mean that you must spend every waking hour together, but it does mean that you must keep each other informed. You are now a team, and team members must work together. It is not a matter of one making all the decisions. Rather, it is making decisions together so that each of you feels good about what is happening. If all of this seems costly to your independence, you are correct. Intimacy and independence are mutually exclusive..





The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.


There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives


Choose One:







Link:

Live Stream Saturday Mornings
MBN Radio Live Stream

Building Relationships Radio
Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings
11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream



Five Love Language Feed

RSS

Most Recent Program
Listen Now
Download Podcast
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A Love Language Minute


Links
:
Google Sites: Primitive Baptists
Blogger BlogSpot: Primitive Baptists

primitivebaptists@gmail.com

Monday, July 2, 2012

Relationships Love Language ~ Surviving Sexual Infidelity, Can love be reborn after sexual infidelity? ~ …be open to replacing destructive patterns with positive patterns of integrity and sincerity… ~ Happy 4th of July ~ The Declaration Independence Day ~ Wednesday, July 4th, 2012 ~ Image: God Bless The USA

God Bless The USA

Happy 4th of July

The Declaration Independence Day ~ Wednesday, July 4th, 2012

***





Relationships Love Language ~ Surviving Sexual Infidelity,  Can love be reborn after sexual infidelity? ~ …be open to replacing destructive patterns with positive patterns of integrity and sincerity… ~ Happy 4th of July ~ The Declaration Independence Day ~ Wednesday, July 4th, 2012 ~ Image: God Bless The USA

 

 

 

Surviving Sexual Infidelity

Dr. Gary Chapman

 

The Question

Can love be reborn after sexual infidelity?

The Answer

Nothing devastates marital intimacy more than sexual unfaithfulness. Sexual intercourse is a bonding experience. It unites two people in the deepest possible manner. All cultures have a public wedding ceremony and a private consummation of the marriage in sexual intercourse. Sex is designed to be the unique expression of our commitment to each other for a lifetime. When this commitment is broken, it is devastating to the marriage.

However, this does not mean that the marriage is destined for divorce. If the offending party is willing to break off the extramarital involvement and do the hard work of rebuilding the marriage, there can be genuine restoration. In my own counseling, I have seen scores of couples who have experienced healing after sexual infidelity. It involves not only breaking off the extramarital affair, but discovering what led to the affair. Success in restoration is a two-pronged approach. First, the offending party must be willing to explore their own personality, beliefs, and lifestyle that led them to the affair. There must be a willingness to change attitudes and behavior patterns. Second, the couple must be willing to take an honest look at the dynamics of their marriage and be open to replacing destructive patterns with positive patterns of integrity and sincerity. Both of these will normally require the help of a professional counselor.

Research indicates that those couples who are most likely to survive sexual infidelity are those couples who receive both individual counseling and marriage counseling. Understanding the five love languages and choosing to speak each other's language can help create an emotional climate in which the hard work of restoring the marriage can be successful.

Featured Resource: Desperate Marriages.





The Five Love Languages Profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference. It will single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment.


There are five love languages:

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Love Languages Personal Profile @ http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/personal-profiles/?profiletype=wives


Choose One:



 

 

 

 

Link:

Live Stream Saturday Mornings
MBN Radio Live Stream

Building Relationships Radio
Eastern Time Live Stream Saturday Mornings
11:00 a.m. Eastern Time Live Stream



Five Love Language Feed

RSS

Most Recent Program
Listen Now
Download Podcast
Upcoming Programs
Past Programs



 

 

A Love Language Minute


Links
:
Google Sites: Primitive Baptists
Blogger BlogSpot: Primitive Baptists

primitivebaptists@gmail.com

Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet

Relationships Love Language ~ JESUS Enters Jerusalem ~ Holy Week ~ Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet
Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet ~ Last Supper. The Passover with the Disciples. Institution of the Lord’s Supper. Judas to Betray Jesus. Matthew 26, Mark 14, Luke 22 ESV. Jesus Washes the Disciples’ Feet. ....12 When he had washed their feet and put on his outer garments and resumed his place, he said to them, "Do you understand what I have done to you? 13 You call me Teacher and Lord, and you are right, for so I am. 14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you....John 13:1-20 ESV.Christ Reasoning with Peter, by Giotto di Bondone (Cappella Scrovegni a Padova).

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Tuesday, February 8, 2011~ Relationships Love Language ~ Biblical Inspiration ~ The Inspirational